Perfectly good headstones need HOMES people!!! Get moving!!
Right now, if you really think about it there are literally PILES of dead bodies just randomly placed throughout the world just WAITING to be discovered!! Get out your treasure maps kids!!! X’s on the eyes mark the spot!
Right now somebody is searching for a mix tape they’ll never find.
Right now chances are somebody somewhere is desperately trying to come to grips with the fact that they had sex with some sort of animal.
Right now some dude is in really bad pain because he’s wearing sweatpants and accidentally sat down too fast and crushed one of his balls.
Right now somebody is looking all over their carpet for the toenail they just cut off a second ago.
Right now somebody somewhere desperately needs to know what time it is.
Right now somebody somewhere is desperately trying to NOT shit their pants.
