2012 Halloween Costume Spectacular, Part 1: Shitty costumes for dudes.

It’s that time of year again, folks. Halloween. The time of year for decorating your yard with corpses and eating Pumpkin Pie Blizzards from Dairy Queen. And oh, what glorious time it is. I love Halloween.

But along with Halloween comes trick or treating and costume parties. The following is part 1 of a three part series on the absolute shittiest Halloween costumes you could pick out for this years festivities. Don’t dress up like these assholes, their costumes absolutely suck.

By the power of Gayskull!!

Ultra-gay He-Man

Look at this prick. I can understand wanting to go the nostalgia route, but the bottom line is this wig is so fucking gay-tastic that it’s not even funny. Fake muscles? Ugh. Wear this fucker to look like a retro prick.

Sweet dreams!

Horrifying Annoying Orange

This nightmare-inducing mask is enough to haunt your dreams for decades. It’s bad enough to wear a costume based on the Annoying Orange, but putting that orange on your head just goes over the line. I’m never going to be able to sleep again thanks to this shit.

What it is, yo.

Wigger

As a general rule of thumb, never dress as somebody you might run into in public. This barely qualifies as a costume and includes ever-so-hilarious drop-ass pants that are around the dudes ankles.

Not funny. Not funny at all.

As seen on TV.

A chalk outline

I’m not sure why anybody would want to dress up as a chalk fucking outline for Halloween, but I guess that option is available.

Is there fucking anything they won’t make into a costume these days? You can seriously pick random inanimate objects and chances are, there is a costume for it.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

A FUCKING ROASTED TURKEY?

Speaking of random object-costumes, there’s this fucking abomination. Seriously, how many of these could have possibly sold?

This is the stupidest shit I have ever seen.

GET IT!?

BAD DICK JOKE

Another disturbing trend in costumes are ones that essentially end up being the worst sexual humor a person could unleash.

For whatever reason there are dozens of costumes that point to or reference a dudes dick, none of them being funny.

What kind of immature fuckface actually goes out in public wearing this bullshit?

GNAR!!

WHAT IN THE HOT CHRIST?

I have no idea what the fuck this is, what it’s supposed to be, or who it’s for. But sadly it’s available to buy.

This dude seems thrilled with his new breasts and ass, so I guess good for him. Holy shit.

PREPARE FOR RAPE.

PISSED GNOME

I’ll give this costume some credit, it’s really fucking scary. These proportion-bending costumes always fuck with my head and this one is no different.

I always thought gnomes were happy little garden creatures, but apparently they also come in giant angry size. You could probably just steal the candy away from kids walking down the street while wearing this.

YA’LL GONNA LOVE MY COSTUME!

MOUNTED FISH GUY

Shit like this is exactly why I hate it hillbilly outdoorsmen. Could a costume be more lame in any possible way?

Hey asshole, you’re not clever, funny, or witty. You’re just a fucking idiot. Take that shit off and have some fucking respect for yourself.

I can haz me?

A fricken’ cheeseburger.

A quick LOGG 64 tip: never dress up as food. It’s not ironic or whatever you are going for. It’s fucking stupid.

There is no possible way to dress as a cheeseburger without looking like a total retard. And I can only imagine that there is no way to dress as a cheese burger without feeling like one as well. Absolutely horrible.

Stay tuned for round 2 in the coming days. Happy Halloween!

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